July 5, 2001

Safe at home…

A few months ago I wrote an essay entitled “The World Has Gone Crazy”.  It’s gotten even worse. 

Today {July 5, 2001} I saw one of my closest high school friends be buried. 

His name was Brian Strouse.  He was a Chicago Police Officer and he was killed in the line of duty.   A 16 year-old boy, a gang-banger, shot Brian while he was on-duty during surveillance.   It seems that Brian, a tactical officer working the Pilsen district was responding to gunshots.  He was in an alley known for it’s drug dealing and gang affiliation.  This boy fired.  Brian announced himself as Chicago Police.  The boy shot again twice – this time striking Brian in his chest {bulletproof vest} and then in his head.   They rushed him to the hospital, but he died shortly thereafter.  He was 33.

As I sat in the church today, filled to capacity with family, friends and fellow CPD officers, I felt as though Brian was there too.  His spirit filled the room.  Every memory I have of him is strong and as his family spoke about him, we all laughed and responded to the Brian we knew. 

I met Brian my freshman year of high school.  He was one of the first friends I’d made at Lane and we had several classes together throughout the years.  I’d have to say that our senior year was the best.  We took economics and in the 3^rd week of class, our regular teacher retired.  They gave us a substitute nicknamed “Big Joe”.  Big Joe didn’t teach economics – he preferred to let us read on our own, and as long as we passed the tests we had, he let us do what we wanted.  So that’s what we did for the entire year – hang out and goof off.  The class sat alphabetically.  Another buddy – CS – sat between us Brian and I.  Then across from me were some other buddies – MM and MN.  I was the only girl in our click and I was always treated like one of the guys – i.e. being hazed constantly.  My long braids were often tied into knots, my neck was drawn on {Brian’s favorite Van Halen logo} and my arms and legs constantly punched, pinched and poked.  We discussed movies {our favorite – Vision Quest}, music {Van Halen; Rush; the Scorpions} and other classmates at great length. 

Right after graduation, Brian joined the Marines.  While he was on his tour, I wrote him several letters.  He always responded, but his letters were never long, but always straight and too the point – he was fine, the Marines were cool and the places he visited were interesting.  He served in the Gulf War and as I watched the news, I would often worry and wonder if he was involved in any battles.

I didn’t attend our 10-year high school reunion, instead opted to grab the afternoon shift and bartend at the Irish Pub I worked at.   Arriving home at about 11 that night – my message light was blinking.  It was several people screaming at once that ‘I sucked’ and ‘was a big loser’ for not coming to the party.  As I listened to the message and tried to decipher voices, my phone rang again.  It was Brian.  He was with my touchstone M and hazed me for about ½ hour about not coming.   We hung up promising to visit soon. 

Since the last time I had talked to him, many things took place in his life.  He had graduated from the CPD academy and was finishing up his rookie year.  He loved the work and talked at great length about making a difference.  I questioned him about his fear level since he was working in some of the scariest districts.  He said it didn’t faze him.  I remember him saying there’s good people in that neighborhood that need to be protected from the bad.  That’s the kind of guy he was – protector.

After he got his condo, M and I went to over to see it and admire it.  There was white bread and beer in the fridge.  He was so proud!

I didn’t get to see Brian before he died.  I never got to say goodbye or tell him what an awesome guy I thought he was.  I never got to thank him for being my buddy.  I never thought about having to say that kind of stuff, because I never dreamed he would die so suddenly, so young and so violently.

I’m going to unleash some venom.  If you’re into criminals rights – stop reading.  If you believe that the world and justice system is crazy, read on. 

This kid, this ignorant, gang-banging kid, is going to prison for the rest of his life.  He’s going to have 3 meals everyday, he’s going to be able to lift weights and watch cable TV.  His mom and dad will be able to see him on visiting days.  He’ll probably get parole at some point because of overcrowding.

Eye for an eye.  You take a life willingly and with malice, you deserve to die the same way.  Forget prison, he should stand in an alley and be shot in the chest and head too.  

Brian was taken from his friends and his family because he cared enough to be a Chicago Cop.  He died because he was trying to protect a neighborhood from the bad guys.  He died because some stupid kid thought he had the right to protect a drug turf.

Today I listened to the Mayor and the Police Superintendent talk about violence and how we have to stop it.  But all his family and friends talked about was Brian.  That was what we needed to do.  Today was Brian’s day.  I’m glad we didn’t let the scumbag that took him from us invade our thoughts for too long. 

Brian was a baseball fanatic.  We went to several Cubs games together during our junior & senior years of high school.  We’d skip class and walk over to Wrigley and buy bleacher seats.  During the service today the priest said the only thing he could think was a befitting closing to his eulogy was to stand above his coffin and do the best umpire call a fan can hear  – “Safe at Home”. 

I know Brian is safe at home.  I know he’s now been promoted to guardian angel, rather than a tactical cop.  But not actually having him here on earth protecting us makes me feel a little less safe.

I mostly wish I could’ve just said goodbye to my buddy.

God Bless the Chicago Police Department and officers everywhere

for putting their lives on the line every day to protect us.