May 25, 2003
Happy to have 8...and Just Right...
So I've been asked - how's the blissfully happy thing going? What's new? Are you still happy? Start any fires lately?
Well I can proudly say that I am still blissfully happy. Even beyond blissful. I almost wanted to say perfect, but in hindsight, I've consulted my thesaurus while looking up the word "Perfect" and I grabbed at the term - "Just Right ".
That's what I think T and I are - "Just Right".
We're not perfect, but we're far from flawed.
We've hit the 8 month mark from our first kiss and I still feel the same, only WAY more. We're growing as a couple and we're working out any bumps along the way.
I'm learning what and what not to expect. I'm learning to give and take and that patience is key in making something work.
Being with T has taught me that sometimes when someone says they're tired, that's all they mean. There aren't any hidden agenda's and he means nothing other than what he says. Although I will admit, that ones been tough on me!
In 8 months I've realized how much I actually know him now and how we've come such a long way! I can judge his moods and adjust accordingly, as he does to me. I've learned that there's no better feeling than looking across the room, catching his eye and knowing exactly what he's thinking, and vice versa. His touch on my arm tells me 20 things. A raised brow or goofy grin conveys how he's feeling without words.
Most importantly, I'm learning to accept things the way they are. I've always been able & willing to accept him as he is, and I don't want to change anything. Well, maybe the Cowboys comforter.
I think that in the last 6 weeks or so, we've hit a stride. I'd like to think it was that Valentine Fire, but I know it's simply just the passing of time. Time has been good to us. It's helped us and I honestly feel that as more time passes, we'll get even stronger together.
I used to think that couples needed to set goals and milestones to mark the passing of time together but I think that by not putting those pressures on us, we're better off. We don't have those heavy 'what the future hold' talks. We don't over-analyze our conversations or dwell on the small stuff. We talk about what's important and tell each other if something is bothering us. We give each other the space we need and still take it one day at a time. We laugh a lot at the absurdities of life.
But with each passing week, our relationship unfolds more and becomes more.
The way I look at it is after a year, we'll need to talk about the future. I think that by then, we both will know what we want. But who knows if we'll even need that - because really, things just always seem to fall into place. By not forcing situations, the natural balance of life seems to work better for us.
I am not wavering in the slightest in my feelings for him. When I'm with him, whether it's sitting on the couch watching TV, standing beside him in a bar or cheering next to him at a Cub's game, I'm happy.
It's amazing to me how happy I am. I honestly don't ever remember feeling so content and at ease. I smile for no reason. My touchstone J told me the other day that I glow when I'm with him. Friends, family and coworkers have told me they've never seen me so filled with joy and that I radiate a kind of glee when I talk about him.
I honestly feel that we simply found each other at a perfect time and it was just lucky. That kiss that led me to the place I am now is without a doubt the turning point in my life. The comfort of being with him engulfs me and makes me complete.
I was recently at a function and one of his Aunts said to me that she thought I was good for him and that she was sure I was a "Keeper". I laughed and said, "well, let's just hope he wants to keep me". She smiled and said, "Ah-ha, so now I see that you want to keep him too! That's GREAT!"
Sometimes when I look at him I feel so much love and emotion I want to burst - but instead I just smile at him because that's where we're at. Which is cool. What's even cooler is that he knows.
Of course, my heart knows.
And my head knows.
I know.
He's "Just Right".
We're "Just Right".
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