October 19, 2002 10:20 a.m.
Dreamy State…
Today is different. I’m different and I think he’s different. We hit a peak last night that was amazing.
It was our first stand-alone date and it worked.
None of our friends were around to distract us. There was no one to fall back on if we ran out of things to say. It was just us.
I was nervous. I went out and bought a new blouse. I spent an hour getting ready. I panicked only twice about how my hair looked and changed only once.
He was right on time and looked very handsome.
We went out to dinner first. There was never a lull in the conversation and we drifted from topic to topic with an effortless grace. After dinner we hit a pub and our night continued on in the same manner. We joked about the first time we thought it was different between us and how the flirting quickly changed. He agreed to upgrade us from ‘hanging out’ to ‘dating’ – which for him appears to be a big step.
When we went back to my place and climbed into bed a corner had been turned.
I can’t and won’t describe what took place other than to say that he is the most tender, honest, amazing man I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing.
I am lucky. It seems I might’ve found someone that fits.
He’s challenging me to make changes within myself without even asking. I find myself wanting things I’ve never wanted before. When he strokes my back or twirls my hair around his finger, I find any bit of my old steely resolve drifting away.
We’re still taking it one day at a time but I can say with certainty that I’m in a crazy, scary wonderful dreamy state.
And I’ve got him to blame.