January 18, 2003
The sights, sounds, smells and touch of comfort...
Americans in general are all about comfort. We long for comfortable shoes; comfy cozy clothes and "comfort food". We buy beds that mold to our bodies, couches we can sink into and chairs that massage us as we watch our new high definition televisions that ease our eye strain. We buy cars with seats that automatically adjust to our size and warm our asses when it's cold. We even brew teas that promise to calm our stress.
However, I think that real comfort can't be bought, it's simply felt.
Children need their mommies when they're hurt or sad. I'm no different. Although I'm 34, my Muzzie is the first person I turn to when I need help or comfort. She is the one who stabilizes me and can bring me peace when I'm scared. Sometimes when I come home and she's cooking, the smells of her kitchen bring me comfort.
Even my dogs have a zone. I am my dog Sami's comfort. She needs to be near my side every moment I'm home. She follows me from room to room and lays beside my feet. When I shower in the morning, she either lays on the floor in the bathroom or right outside the door, protectively guarding me. Modine's main comfort is my bed, but more specifically - sleeping with me. He cries and whines if he can't. It's pretty sad that a 125lb Rottweiler whines for his human mama, but I've spoiled him and now he can't stand to be apart from me.
My comforts aren't much different. However, my comfort is all around me.
When I've been away, there is nothing like the sight of the Chicago skyline. It doesn't matter where I've been or how long I've been away, as soon as I see it - I breathe a sigh of relief because I'm home.
Home is comfort.
The same can be said of my house. I am a homebody - and LOVE being in my place surrounded my my things. People have commented on the number of pictures that I have up. As you enter my front stairs - I have what I call the "gallery" which is simply a collection of pictures of my friends and family encompassing many years. In my entry room (formerly the dining room - but who needs a dining room or table when you have two big dogs that need a nice open room to play in? I have a kitchen - that's where we eat!) I have a wall filled with pictures of my immediate family. I can look at those pictures and immediately recall the memories and those memories comfort me.
T is turning out to bring me comfort as well. Last night after we went out with some friends, he stayed the night by my place. Because of my pets, this is the course of most weekends. We are really settling into our relationship and I believe have a good thing going.
As I curl up next to him and can hear him breathing, a incredible sense of calm washes over me. Just knowing that he's there brings me comfort. I love the fact that throughout the night, as I turn over, I'll see him lying there or if I reach out, I can touch him.
When we're sitting somewhere and he lightly touches my back or neck, I feel happy and content. T is becoming home to me.
Like meatloaf and mashed potatoes, T, my family and friends are what grounds me. They are my comfort zone. They bring me the sights, sounds, smell and touch of comfort.
I couldn't live without them.
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