September 2000
The Price of Cooking…
I cook. It is one of the things that I truly enjoy.
I have been blessed with the ability to look at food, determine what’s good and concoct something that will make most people say {with their mouths full}, “Oh my God, this is delicious”.
When I was a little girl, I watched my mother and my aunt’s cook. I imitated them and often would think how I could actually make it better. That was my training. I usually don’t follow recipes, however I look at them all the time for ideas. Then I take that idea and make it into something I would like. I will admit that I do this for selfish reasons. I know exactly what I like to eat and that’s how I cook. I very rarely make something that I wouldn’t eat myself, though occasionally for my loved ones, I have been known to prepare their favorites.
Because of my love of cooking, I am forever having dinner parties. It’s there that I am able to try out my concoctions on my friends and family.
However, there are certain things that I make that are a requirement for my friendship with others. Sometimes those dishes are fighting food.
For example with my Seafood Salad, I am NOT allowed to enter my friends M & C’s home without bringing a vat of it. If I have a party, before they will agree to come, I must promise to make them some. If they have a party, it is assumed that I will bring it with (also with a small bag just for them). During a party once, I overheard M telling my brother to leave some salad for the rest of them. He looked at her and said, “I only get this once or twice a year and I plan on taking as much as my plate can hold. Besides, she’s MY sister”. I thought M was going to deck him. Once the Dick-Boy started a fight with me because he made the mistake of eating about 1-½ pounds of the salad at one sitting. He blamed me for his gastrointestinal problems because “I made it so damn good”.
Another friend, M. claims that I make the best ‘Egg-Dip’ ever. When I pointed out to her that it’s not egg-dip, merely egg salad, she couldn’t believe it – “But it’s so creamy” she exclaimed! Her husband didn’t see eye to eye with the Egg-Dip. I think that might have had something to do with the fact that she ate about a dozen eggs worth, and then slept in the same bed with him that night. However, again, it’s a requirement. If M. is around, I always promise to make her the ‘Egg-Dip’ regardless of the flatulence consequences.
I am a bacon lover. I believe that anything can be made better with bacon. It’s the know-all be-all cooks secret. It can make tofu taste good. Of course, adding the bacon to the tofu would defeat the purpose of the tofu, but you get my point. Many of my best recipes include bacon. Once I made a wonderful Irish Cabbage Salad. It was made from raw cabbage, smoked bacon and Stilton blue cheese with a lovely vinaigrette that I made up. It sounds weird, but it was awesome!! The most unlikely of all people adored it – a great guy I work with whom I would NEVER have guessed would go for something like that. When he attended my last party, he asked for it. I apologized and said I hadn’t made it and he actually looked annoyed. He shook his head and said with a sneer, “That’s what I came for”. I apologized again and promised to make it for him soon.
My cooking has also got me into trouble with my mother. It started one year when I was about 18. I had made my first turkey and stuffing for a holiday. Of course, the whole dinner was done under the watchful eyes and guidance of my beloved mother. I didn’t want anyone to know that I had done the cooking until after we had started, just in case it wasn’t good. During the meal, one of my uncles commented that this was the best stuffing he had ever had, it was simply better than any other time my mother had made it. He gushed and gushed so finally I stood up and said I had made it. No one could believe it. They all said I had outdone even my mother. Let’s just say the look I got from her that day made me want to never compete with her again - but I do anyway. It’s just too fun!
It’s September, which means it’s that time of year again. My neighborhood has an annual block party and for the last three years I have entered the Chili Cook-Off. I have won the last three years as well. You win the coveted “Chili Apron” that’s been passed around to each winner and after you win, you write your name and year on it. Besides the apron and having the worship and adulation of your neighbors, you also receive a winning prize, usually a glass casserole dish. And EVERYONE knows you can’t have enough of those!
So now I’m terrified that I won’t win this year! I’ve been on a three year APRON and ADULATION HIGH and I’m afraid another TASTIER, YUMMIER chili will break my winning streak!! I’m freaking out!
So I’ve come to realize that my cooking has a price. In some cases it’s the price of friendship, in others the beginnings of fights and a lot of gas. In my case, it’s an abnormal fixation on an apron and a $10 casserole dish. But the price is so worth it.
It’ll be worth it even more if my name is on that apron 1 more time!! Just 1 more time!!!
Please God, Oh please God, ONE MORE TIME!!!!!
(POST NOTE: THE Fizgig DID win for the 4th time! She retired the Chili apron while up on top and now just cooks the Chili to please her friends & family!)