May 2000
Penthouse Lies
I’ve known many women in my life. I have friendships that are so close, it’s almost as if we are connected. I’ve lived with 2 female roommates and have had slumber parties since I’ve been a girl.
Through all that, at no time – not even once – did I or any of my friends, experiment with lesbianism.
However, if you read any ‘Penthouse’ or ‘Playboy’ article or letter, women are always having situations where one thing leads to another and suddenly boobies are being fondled. I want to know who these women are!
I think all of my friends are attractive. They all have nice bodies. I’ve seen almost all of them naked at some point or another. But, I’ve never, ever wanted to have a go at them. Am I missing something? Am I abnormal? I set to find out.
I put the question out and asked several women – friends, neighbors and strangers. The question posed was – “At any point in your life, have you been attracted to any of your friends and acted upon it? In other words, has ‘one thing led to another’ taken place in your life?”
The response was overwhelming. Of all the women {with anonymity guaranteed} I spoke with, NOT ONE has {or would admit to} ever doing anything with another woman. The only person who said yes, was a friend of mine who just happens to be a lesbian. So, needless to say, she doesn’t count.
Now these are not prudes. These are normal, sexually active women in the prime of their life. Several of them, myself included, could be considered extremely sexual and willing to do almost anything. Except, it seems, fondle a friends boobies.
Some of the women I spoke with commented that they felt such an overwhelming closeness to their friends, that the idea actually repulsed them.
“Why would I ever want to do that?”
“Oh my god, that’s disgusting. Slumber parties were for talking about boys and having séances. They weren’t about frenching your childhood friends.”
“Really Fizgig, what is this about? Is there something you want to tell me?”
My research has ended. I have come to the conclusion that these are lies made up by men simply because they wish that is what happens.
I have been with several men, boyfriends and platonic friends, and they all ask the same thing – “Have you ever thought about it with another woman? Would you do it? Would you video it?”
I have thought about it. I don’t think I could ever do it. Even if I did, I doubt I’d video it. Even more so, if I was ever to do something like that – I couldn’t do it with a friend. It would have to be a stranger. I mean what if I wasn’t good? How could our friendship overcome that?!?
Actually the idea of being with a woman sexually doesn’t excite me. I like the roughness of a man. I like the feel of his muscles. Especially the main one. I could NEVER give that up. It’s like bacon.
I always joke with my male friend ‘I’ about the fact that if it weren’t for the small detail that he’s Jewish and Kosher {and refuses to date anyone that isn’t Jewish} we’d probably be together. You see, I could give up Jesus for ‘I’, but not bacon. Never bacon.
So to me, a man is like bacon. I need it in my life. Good, bad, ugly, stupid – I still want what’s proven to be hazardous for my health – a man.
So the Penthouse & Playboy stories are just lies. But lets keep them for the boys. They obviously need something good in their lives.