June 1, 2003
Doin' it over - Doin' it right..
A few weeks back T, another friend of ours - CC and I went to Prom together. This wasn't any ordinary Prom, this was a Prom Pub Crawl. It was 5 hours of fun at 4 neighborhood pubs for $25. The money all went towards breast cancer research and we got to dress up in funky prom clothes.
T wore a ruffled yellow tux, circa 1979 and CC and I both dressed from the 80's - with big hair, LOTS of eye makeup, feather boas and we each donned a lace Madonna glove. T even bought both of us wrist corsages. We were a fabulous ménage a tois. Needless to say, we had a blast.
So the theme of the night was Prom 2003 -'Doin' it over and Doin it right'.
So that got me thinking about things I could or would do over in my life.
Remember when we were kids and playing a game - you could simply yell 'Do Over' and get to start fresh? What are my biggest regrets? What would make my life different?
What's rather interesting is that after many, many hours of thinking - there just aren't too many big things I'd change.
So many people have asked me if I regret not getting a college degree and honestly, I don't. College wasn't for me. I do realize that I'm extremely lucky that I've been as successful as I am without it and that most people aren't as fortunate. But even if I could do it again - I still wouldn't.
I do regret not having a better relationship with my brothers, but sometimes, there are simply things you cannot change, they are as they are. Of course, in one way, sometimes you can try to make a change.
Of course, there's always the small things. Things said in a moment of haste that you regret instantly. A nasty comment, a quip or barb not thought out before spoken. An act that seemed ok at the time, but afterwards, in hindsight was a significant error.
But I've learned from each of my mistakes. And each one attributes to part of my life's lessons.
Mostly what I've learned is that each day is precious and you must trust yourself to make the right choices. Sometimes they're right and sometimes they're wrong - but they are your choices.
Two of my favorite quotes are as follows:
"Whatever our choices, we have made them. They are ours. Only in claiming them can we find our personal power. We have the freedom to live with them, even if they did not seem like choices at the time." Unknown
"I need to take an emotional breath, step back and remind myself who's actually in charge of my life." Judith M. Knowlton
As each day passes I grow up more and more. I become more of the person I've always wanted to be. I'm so different now than I was 5 years ago and eons away from who I was 5 years before that.
So when I think about Doin' it over and Doin' it right - I think I've gotten most of it done pretty ok the first time.
What I'm hoping is that in 5 years from now, I'll be even better.
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