June 18, 2002
The Important Stuff, finding what matters...
I think too often than not, people lose touch with important things in their life. They become involved in other aspects of their lives, and things that used to mean something to them, suddenly are second hand or even completely forgotten.
I often think about the things that are important to me - my family, my friends, my dogs, my job. I count my blessings everyday and try and not dwell on the things that I don't have.
I strive to be positive, even when everything around me is falling down. I lost Jesus, but I gained V. I don't have a relationship with either of my brothers, but my sister and I are getting closer every year and my brother-in-law is the brother I've always wished I could have. He fills the void {and then some} that my own brothers have left. My building needs repairs in almost every corner, but I have a place to sleep each night, as does my mom and my sister and her family.
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My niece and nephew run to the door and scream "Aunt K is home" daily. We giggle, laugh, run and play every opportunity we can. My brother-in-law helps me mend things, plant things, assemble things and clean things! They help me take care of my dogs and baby-sit for them whenever I need them. They accept me for who I am and never ask me to be anything more or less. |
I've had some tough times recently, but I keep smiling. The continuation of life is what keeps me going.
My friends are my biggest support. Without them, I couldn't have made it through. JMMS, LMR, M & J- B, D & J- P, L & S- P, JK, ND, KB, EB, AB & KM, the list just goes on and on. They are each remarkable individuals and I thank God for them and all that they have taught me and continue to teach me. They laugh with me, they cry with me and they make everything better. They are truly an extension of my family. At Matthew's funeral, I looked up and over and saw my friend SP. Although he had actually never met Matthew, he knew how important he was to me. He took the morning off work and went to the church, to lend his support. Seeing him there made me realize yet again how much my friends mean to me. I will never forget that small gesture of his and how he squeezed my shoulder as he passed me. I'll also never forget my friend A e-mailing me constantly, telling me that she & K were thinking of me, praying for things to get better. It's those things that matter. That's what makes it easier.
I come home each night and my dogs greet me as if I've been away years. Their tails wag (well, Modine's nub wags) and they dance around and bring me toys and bones. Even though they get walked each day, every time I take the leashes down, they are as excited as if it's the first time they've ever gone anywhere. I love to watch them play. I sit in my big black leather recliner and tug at the rope while they pull each other around. Sometimes I just smile as I watch them and I can feel my troubles melt away and relaxation takes hold. I love the way Modine (the Rott) refuses to move when he shares the couch or bed with me, oftentimes grunting and moaning when I push him. He's 135 lbs and he loves to snuggle and I honestly think he thinks he's a lapdog. Sami (the shep/collie mix) sleeps in the same spot next to my bed all night, and won't move until morning. She won't listen to anyone else but me and hates it when she has to share me with others. When I'm home, they follow me around, never leaving my side. I can't get mad at them because all my blinds are ruined because they attack the windows as other dogs go by. I can't get mad that they bark at a leaf if it makes too much noise falling. I can't get mad when Modine plays with the box of Kleenex and pops up tissue after tissue, throwing them into the air. And I can't mad that Sami leaves two handfuls of hair every time she moves from one spot to another. They are my babies and they keep me company and love me unconditionally.
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My job is more than a job to me, it's a passion. I work for a wonderful company and I am treated with respect in every way. I have a loyalty to them, because of how they interact with people. My boss J is honestly the best person I've ever worked for in my life. He listens when you speak and digests all that you say. It's refreshing to work for someone and someplace that is only filled with positive energy.
I strongly urge everyone to stop for a moment and count your blessings. Big or small - it's those things that matter. Never lose sight of it.
Modine
Sami