May 11, 2003 

The terror of Anna Nicole...

The other night T & I were talking and joking about the Miller Lite commercials with the ladies fighting.  

So our conversation invaded my dreams last night. 

I had tons of trouble sleeping and eventually fell asleep on the couch.  Prior to that – there was a Playboy special on about Anna Nicole.  I watched it and was impressed by how good she used to look – not at all the starry-eyed doped out crazy girl she’s become. 

I dreamt that Anna Nicole (but again, not the doped, grossed out Anna Nicole of today, the Hot Anna Nicole of the past) and I were having a Miller Lite type of tiff. 

So my dream started that T and I were eating dinner at Biasetti’s. We were talking and all of a sudden Anna N walked over and asked T to keep his voice down.  She was like a waitress or something and said he was talking to loud and she couldn’t concentrate on serving her dinners.  T looked funny at her and said I’m not talking loudly and I agreed and said he was barely whispering.   She told me to stay out of it – it was between the two of them. T then  told her he'd keep it down and was really nice to her.  Then after she walked away I got pissed and asked why he was being so nice to her.  T said he felt sorry for her and that I should just be quiet and behave and that he was  only being nice because he wanted her to bring him an extra baked potato. 

When she came back to our table, T asked her for more potato and she threw a drink on his back.  So I got up and said, "Nobody throws a drink at my man" - (very Jerry Springer if you ask me)-  and I got up and slapped her upside the head.   She slapped me back and we started wrestling on the table.  T was just sitting there eating his salad. 

We wrestled about for a bit, then she yelled you want potato – and smeared potato, butter and sour cream on my boob – which was now somehow exposed, as we were both topless suddenly.  Then the next thing I know – she’s crying saying she’s so sorry and that she loves me and then starts eating the potato off my boob. 

Then she asked T if he could pass her the pepper, which he did.  By the way, T was still just sitting there eating. 

She put pepper on the potato and started eating it again.  I just kept staring down at her wondering what the hell she was doing.  Then T looked over at me and said, “It’d be a shame to waste the potato – she’s doing the right thing.  Why don’t you share yours with her too?” 

I had cheesy potatoes that were hot and T said, “Go ahead, pour them on her”.  I was like – are you sure and he said, "Definitely K – it’s only fair."  But I didn’t think it was a good idea because they were hot, but he told me to behave and listen or else. 

So I did.  Then I ate the potatoes off her boobs and I looked over at T and said – they’re good and they weren’t too hot.  T said, “see you should always listen to me”. 

When I was finished, she thanked me for sharing and asked us to come back soon.   She walked away and T and I finished the rest of our meal and T told me because I listened and fought for him, I could have a taffy apple for desert.   Then as it was being cut up for me, I woke up.


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