February 21, 2002
2001 – The year that was…
It’s almost the end of the 2nd month of a new year and I’m trying to get back into the swing of things. 2001 has been the toughest year I’ve ever known. For me, writing is therapy and somehow, toward the later part of the year, I just couldn’t bring myself to write. I just wasn’t able to muster the words or energy. I guess even non-successful writers get blocked too.
For me, 2001 was filled with ups and downs, new beginnings and sad endings. But mostly, I learned about coping and dealing with the turmoil that occasionally bombards us unsuspecting human beings.
The most important thing that happened to me was Baby Matthew. In February I was elated because a donor was found for his many needs. He struggled and fought and was the bravest dimpled boy I know. In September, his battle ended and we lost him. The end of the year saw me coping with the loss of this remarkable boy. I’ll never forget all that he taught me.
In November of 2000, the beloved leader of my office passed away unexpectedly. 2001 was spent trying to overcome this loss. This man was quite honestly, the most honorable and decent man I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. His wonderful easygoing nature made each day at work not only bearable – but also enjoyable. I loved and cherished our chats, where he would tell me stories about how he had grown up, and teach me about the candy business. It’s been over a year after his passing and things still aren’t the same, but we are learning to cope without him. There are so many days where I might be stumped with something, and I need him, and only him, to help me. He was the one I’d talk to. He could analyze everything and come up with a simple solution. I find myself sitting at my desk and thinking about what he would do. Just as I do with my own father, I often wish and expect him to be there to help through a particularly rough time. But I believe his spirit, just like my pops, is there. He guides me and helps me, overseeing all that I do. But I still miss him something fierce.
I became a homeowner in 2001. It’s been an experience to say the least. Let’s just say that people who sell houses are not always honest and forthcoming. Don’t get me wrong – I love my house, but I paid WAAAAAAAYYYYYYY too much money for it. Everything I seem to touch falls apart. But what doesn’t fall apart is the reason I bought it, family.
This is a 3-flat family building. My sister, her husband and children live on the 1st floor. I, along with my two babies – Sami and Modine – occupy the 2nd floor and my Muzzie lives in the garden apartment, which is a fancy, yuppie title for basement. However, it’s the nicest basement apartment I’ve ever been in!
The best part of my day is when I come home from work and M & E (my niece and nephew) are playing outside. They see me pull up and scream “Auntie’s home!!”. I am greeted daily by their hugs and kisses and I’m watching them grow up downstairs of me. It’s amazing and I feel blessed to have them so close. We each have our own privacy, yet we’re simply a floor apart. The connections have never been stronger. Don’t get me wrong, there are some days when the floor seems too close (like when M & E are screaming and jumping on the beds) but I don’t regret my decision one bit. I have built in babysitters for my dogs and my sister has 2 babysitters for her kids!
I traveled in 2001 and saw the splendors of Italy. It was an amazing experience that I will never forget. My touchstone L and I went back to Cabo in December (thanks again P), making it our 2nd annual jaunt. I’ve lost the tan lines already, but I can’t wait to get back there next year.
In July, I lost a cherished high school friend to a senseless gang-related shooting. He was a police officer doing his duty and he died at 33.
2001 saw the greatest tragedy of my generation –September 11. I along with all other American’s sat transfixed watching the television. It happened the day after we buried Matthew…so my grief was compounded by the scary world in which we live.
My love life is still a sad, sorry affair. After ending things with Curly and trying to just remain friends, he still managed to be turn back into the small penis that he is and define the reason that you can’t just be friends. Ughhh….I give up.
So, here it is, almost the end of the 2nd month of a new year and I’m starting fresh. The old house is FINALLY being sold, my bleeding ulcer is slowly starting to heal and I’m feeling like writing again.
Be patient with me, it’s going to be a slow process.