October 3, 2000
The
inevitable shift from Auntie to Aunt….
It’s happening. My oldest nephew had entered his teens and I am no longer his Auntie, but simply Aunt Karen. Sometimes even Karen.
I think I first noticed about 2 years ago that he dropped the ‘IE’ from my name. Occasionally I’d still hear it, but only when he was begging for something {new computer; CD burner; Hawaiian Rib Eye from Houston’s}.
My oldest nephew ‘R’ is quite honestly, and I say this with no bias at all, the coolest kid in the world. R has lead a remarkable life so far in his 14 years and it just keeps getting better for him.
He’s handsome, funny and extremely intelligent. He knows good food, music and movies. Chicks are REALLY beginning to dig him.
When I think about all the wonderful, funny memories I share with him, a few classics come to mind.
When R was 4, he was sick and I was off work. His mom asked if I would take him to the doctor. As we were standing in line waiting to pay, R glanced at the woman next to us, then glanced at me and then at her, then at me finally trying to whisper, but coming out like a scream - “Oh, my God Auntie, her boobies are even bigger than yours. I didn’t know they came bigger than yours!”. She stared at him, then at me. I smiled at her. “Kids” I chuckled.
When R was 6 we were outside playing catch and 3 senior women walked past, smiled and said hello to us. His eyes got HUGE and he said, “Can you believe the Golden Girls just said hi to us! Let’s go tell Grandma!”.
When R was 7 I took him to his 1st Blackhawks game. I taught him how he should stand and clap through the anthem, how to NEVER stand during a period and how to watch for the flying pucks. Through the 1st period all he’d talk about was how he was going to catch a puck. I explained how hard that was, but he was convinced he could do it. During the 2nd period a puck came straight at us, just a bit over his head. R had his arm up and his hand out and the man sitting behind us caught it and dropped it straight into his. The look on this kid’s face was priceless. Needless to say, that man drank for free the rest of the night.
When R was 10, I let him watch Good Fella’s. Not a great choice, but he was an old 10 and I was a cool aunt! I realized I had made a mistake when near the end tears started to well up in his eyes and he said “Auntie, why’d they have to whack Tommy? That wasn’t fair! I don’t want him to die!”.
When he was 13 I picked him up after a roller skating party. When he got in the car I asked him if there were any cute girls there. He said, “Yeah, nothing special, but there was one that was kinda cute.” “Oh”, I said, “do you know her? Is she in your school?” “Yeah, right Aunt Karen. Maybe like 5 years ago. Please, she was like 18. I think she’s out.” Oh…
The only thing R wasn’t lucky in was in the Dad department. Sadly, his dad lacks the fathering gene {see Sibling Lost} - but we make up for it. He has never wanted for anything and he has wonderful Uncles and a grandfather (plus what my pops taught him before he passed on} that has given him the kind of father figures he’s needed. Great as all that is, I’m sure R would say that he still wished for a normal dad.
R and I always have fun together. No matter what we do, who we’re with or where we go, we laugh and have fun. One of our favorite pastimes is to watch Seinfeld. We can quote all episodes and usually find a Seinfeld quote appropriate for all occasions. I try to teach him about good music and some of it has rubbed off, but unfortunately his Uncle “S” has also rubbed off on him which means Metallica, Ozzy and Limp Bizkit. I’m hoping one of these days he’ll come completely over to the “Good” side.
R knows his limits with me. There’s tons of things he can say and do with me that he wouldn’t dream of with his mom. Not that he couldn’t, but no matter how cool she is, she’s still his mom! He does pull stuff over her head. It is hysterical to watch her yell at him. She just can’t do it. We all {her friends and family} just laugh at her. She knows it too. She’s too cute. “Honey, stop it. HONEY, I said stop it. HONEYYYYYYY, stop now. Stop. I said stop. STOP!” Then she laughs at him.
I simply look at him. He knows and he stops. I very rarely get angry or give the look so he knows when I do it means business. I have the ‘Nazi” look. I inherited it from my mother. She can give the look that would stop Manson himself. Now I can.
We recently took a fishing trip together. It was a blast. I had more fun with that kid in a weekend than I’ve had in months!! We can talk about anything and not feel weird. What’s nice is that I don’t treat him like a baby and he doesn’t treat me like an unapproachable adult. We communicate because we feel comfortable with each other.
Once he was asked what he’d ever do if he wanted to run away. He said he’d go to Aunt Karen’s.
A few years ago I heard the best thing in the world. R introduced me to someone as his 2nd mom. That killed me. I think I bought him a computer a few days later.
I know I spoil him rotten. There isn’t much he’s ever asked for that he hasn’t gotten. But he deserves everything he gets and more. The love this kid gives is remarkable. He’ll call me up if he sees something funny on TV to share with me and before he hangs up he always tells me he loves me. He always asks me to do things with him, because he truly enjoys spending time together. All he does, he does on his own, with no prodding. He simply shares his life with me.
His mom and I tease him all the time that he’s going to have to take care of us in our old age. We tell him we’ll all live together in a great big house and he can push us in our matching wheelchairs. He simply rolls his eyes and says fine. He knows his fate and he accepts it.
So even though I went from Auntie to Aunt to sometimes even Karen, I know he still loves me.
I know we’ll always be best buddies and I also know no matter what, R will always be the coolest guy I know.